Friday, October 5, 2012

DIARY OF A MAD WOMAN 10/01/2012 Chapter 31


CHAPTER 31:  What Doesn’t Kill Ya Makes Ya Stronger

October 1st, 2012

OK, so have ya done it yet?  You know what?  Did ya get yourself a Shifu who makes house-calls?  I’m only gonna tell ya this one more time!  If you don’t have a Shifu who makes house calls, you gotta get yourself one!  YOU NEVER KNOW when you’re gonna need him!  Not only do I have one, I have the BEST!  Ask me, I’ll send you his number because there is nothing Shifu is more devoted to than helping people, and I can attest, he’s the “genuine article”.

When I left St. Joe’s on the 22nd I had already confirmed with Sarah that Shifu really had said he would come to my home when I got out of the hospital to help me with my chi treatments, and I was elated!  Coming out of the hospital on high dose corticosteroids and all the things that come with it, makes driving “ill-advised” (DANGEROUS really).  I’m worse than a blind granny on two-fer coupon day.  So, knowing that he would still be available to me during a time that is usually so confining and isolating, outweighed my usually obsessive apprehension about the state of my unkempt house, or the fact that I gave up my cleaning service weeks before going into the hospital in order to join Shaolin. 

I physically cannot clean my own house due to my illness. I know, “good excuse”, right?  I have tried again and again over the years, but since my disease became “critical” the bacteria or fungi growing healthy people extract from the “dirty places” in their home when they clean, well, those guys jump for joy when they see me coming and somehow, magically take up residence in my nose or respiratory tract, where they party like John Belushi in “Animal House”.  And if you knew how embarrassed and ashamed I am of being unable to maintain my home to my own cleanliness standards (and don’t say “that’s ridiculous” until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes), you would appreciate exactly how much it meant to me because for the first time in my life I was able to push all that “NOISE” into the background, and focus on what it meant to have this great man make that time for me (not to mention that I live at least 40 minutes from the Institute in “good” traffic).

On Thursday morning Sarah called me to tell me that Shifu was coming to my home for a chi visit.  I didn’t even argue because I learned from the hospital visit that Sarah knows best.  I did, however, feel compelled to tell her that I was dead, and on bed rest, so he would have to be able to do a chi treatment on a dead person, perhaps even in a prone, rigimortified  position.  She said he had worked with worse.  He arrived later that afternoon.  Now, I’m not going to tell you that I let him see my house in the condition it was in when Sarah called.  That would be a “misrepresentation”, and even if it had been “clean”, I would have run around like a chicken with its head cut off “just making sure”.  It was not clean.  I did what I felt I absolutely had to do to make sure Shifu did not stick to a table if he put his elbows on it, or, well…I think that says it all.  When he pulled into my cul-de-sac, I was quite satisfied that he would find my house abounding in chi and would love all my live plants and Asian art accents that screamed of a “Westerners” attempts at Feng Shui.

I went outside to greet him and, again, I hugged my Shifu.  I just can’t help myself; I just love that guy!  He followed me inside and I walked the 8 steps from the front door into the family room only to realize that Shifu was still within two steps of the front door, AND he looked physically sick!!!  All the radiance that always eminates from him had sucked inside of him making him look like a raisin.  For one brief moment I thought he was going to be ill.  My mind screamed, “Oh my God, I killed Shifu!”  Then, suddenly, he became what I can only describe as “Westerner anxious”, something I have never seen in this calm, serene, unruffled man

before.  He walked in a small circle toward me, in the family room, and back toward the door via the library to the left of the front door.  I asked him if something was wrong and he said, “Tamra, let’s sit down,” and he took a seat at the dining room table in the chair nearest the window.  The whole time I felt his discomfort, and I was aware of his struggle to remain focused.  His voice was very quiet, almost weak, and I could tell that he was trying to be sensitive to my feelings, while I was most concerned about the visual, visceral transformation I saw happen before my eyes within micro-seconds of entering my home.  Then he began to sneeze violently.  He said, “Tamra, you must make some serious changes here right away. This house is making you sick.  I am very sensitive to these things.  This carpet must go right away.  When you have dogs….all these things contribute to your breathing problems and autoimmune troubles.  You need hardwoods or…

“Tile,” I interrupted, “I’ve been considering tile because we are very hard on floors and hardwoods require regular maintenance that produces dust, fumes, and other airborne particulates that don’t come with tile.” 

“You must do something about this right away. You let me know if you need help with this.”

 Ok, if you read “The Worse of People” and you are now reading this, can you even believe what you are reading?  I have known this wonderful, fascinating, selfless, devoted spiritual man since June.  I have managed to attend his Tai Chi classes for all of two months - tops.  I have come to know him from a business perspective, as I volunteer my time to the school on a variety of business related school projects, but here he is, in my home, offering to help me do what is necessary immediately to make my environment less toxic for me.  Where in the West are these kinds of people?  Even among the best of us, we have “rules” about “helping” family and friends regardless of the hardship or direness of  circumstances. 

With Shifu, there are no rules when it comes to helping people; there is only need, fulfillment of need, and the humble joy he gets from having helped, and he has never made any bones about the fact that that is what he came to the United State to do… to help people better their physical and spiritual health and well-being so that they might live more fulfilling lives.  In my mind, that is what defines “humanity”.  I don’t think a lot of Westerners truly get the concept of “helping”.  We cannot simplify it the way that it truly is meant to be.  Even when we do give, very few of us can give in that oh so humble way that truly expects nothing in return, and never wants to be revealed. 

(I am so sorry, Shifu, for having revealed you in this way, and I struggled with the decision to do so for a week.  But, “DIARY” readers have to know this about you, because it is just one of the many things that define you and Shaolin philosophy and one of the many things that make you extraordinary).

 
I told Shifu that I knew the carpeting had to go, but there were other priorities that demanded our immediate attention, forcing the carpet removal and flooring replacement to have wait for a few more months.  But there was one thing I knew I could do right away, and that was to get an industrial style HEPA air purifier that would decontaminate the main living space of my home.  It had been a point of contention between my husband and me for years.  I determined then and there to end that argument tomorrow.  I knew exactly where I was buying it, and exactly which one I was going to be bringing home.

 Over a period of about 10 minutes, Shifu seemed to recover, but the vibrancy and radiance that always flows so freely from him seemed to tuck up deep inside him like a closely guarded aura, rather than radiating sunrays.  He walked through the room slowly and into the kitchen, where he chose a tiny space facing a very well lit (artificial sun-light) plant stand filled with plants and cuttings, adjacent to the kitchen window and dining table.  The space wasn’t more than 3’x 4’, but this is where he felt comfortable, and this is where he taught me Tai Gong. 

For the 25-30 minute treatment/lesson, all my anxiety and pain fell away.  I was still very sick.  I still had a plastic appliance (tampanade) in my left nostril that hurt like the dickens all of the time.  I still had black circles under my eyes that made me look eerily like “The Corpse Bride”, but I wasn’t that any more.  My energy was free of it.  I was cleansed of the shadow that followed me, relaxed, and just entirely lightened.   To grab one brief moment of relief during a period of, what seems like an endless assault, is nothing short of breathtaking; delivering nothing less than hope to a situation that constantly tries to out-shout positive attitude by screaming, “I’m a hopeless situation and I got you in my sights girl!”

Shifu told me to practice this exercise as often as possible, sitting or standing.  He said it would open the energy channels, so that the mind could channel the body’s natural healing energy to the places it knows need healing.  He told me that it would also help lower the blood pressure, which my doctors have determined is essential to ensuring this does not result in an embolism.  When Shifu left, I was so sad to see him go.  I wanted to keep him, but I also was saddened by the fact that my home (the place he traveled to in order to help me get well) had sickened him.  I will never forget that experience visually, viscerally, experientially, nor in my heart. I realized, if my house was that toxic to Shifu and his focused, ever-present, seemingly limitless chi and spirit, I now understood why it so hard for me to “chi”. 

So. Saturday I dragged my husband to the air purifier store and laid out that $900.00 for the industrial grade HEPA air purifier capable of efficiently and effectively filtering a large, open living space.  I had broken the news to him gently earlier in the day when I realized my son was not going to awaken in time to drive me there as we’d planned, but I had not prepared him for the cost , because….well, there was no preparing a man who hated spending $20.00 on a “special” furnace filter monthly for “THE COST”.  This brand of HEPA air purifier never goes on sale , so the choice of where to buy it really comes down to customer service ratings/experience.  Having bought my two HEPA vacuum’s from this store since moving to Georgia, I had a relationship with them that I was sure of and trusted in.  In fact, while he couldn’t discount the cost of the purifier, he did throw in a couple boxes of expensive vacuum bags and filters, so, I was quite happy.  I did, however, have to use a wheelbarrow to get my husband’s lower jaw off the floor where it had dropped to the ground like a toon’s when he saw the cash register say $900.00 and some odd cents..

 We came home, still suffering “sticker shock”, he put on my Rolls Royce’s wheels, plugged her in, and she purred like a kitten, absorbing all those toxins like they were yesterday’s fuzzy refrigerator left-overs gone rotten.  My husband’s still adjusting to this 2’x3’ $900.00 box of silent, air filtration wizardy and lights, that you can’t even park in the driveway and shout out, “LOOK WHAT ZOG GOT!”, but, God love him, he’s trying, and he never loses his sense of humor.

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